HOLDING A SPACE

No question about it, this year has been a challenging one for teachers for many reasons, which is not to say it has been a bad year, just one with a little more strain to it.

Yesterday, as I sat in a cafe in a lovely neighborhood in San Francisco (Noe Valley, if you know it) waiting to meet a former student (who has become a teacher) for coffee (How can I have former students who are THIRTY?!), I read the latest New Yorker. In a great article by Adam Kirsch about the current poet laureate Kay Ryan, I read this line that just shook me up: "One must truly HOLD A SPACE for oneself. All things conspire to close up this space."

I have said this before, but no one will ever come to us as teachers and say, "I think you are just doing too much. I would like you to do 20% less." So we have to actively look for ways to "HOLD A SPACE for [ourselves]." (The all caps are Ryan's, by the way.)

This was why I was at that cafe to have coffee with Karina when I have piles of work I should be doing. We always have work we "should" be doing. We could read, prepare, assess, grade, enter those grades, and so much more 24-hours a day and ever finish. So we must HOLD A SPACE in our day, even if it is measured in minutes, for what we love, for who we are.

We all accept that we are what we eat; but we are also what we do. So in addition to all the things I did for school yesterday, I read stuff for myself, I had coffee with Karina, I walked out into my garden for just five minutes to BE out in my garden where I endeavor to create and HOLD a space, I grilled steaks while reading The Education of Henry Adams over a glass of red wine.

Because make no mistake: "All things conspire to close up" the spaces in our days as well as those within us, spaces where we keep the poems we say we want to write, the dinners we want to have, the flowers we want to plant, the books we want to write, the lives we want to lead.

HOLD A SPACE: You've earned it.

Comments

[Angela]

Thanks for this Jim. You always seem to say what I need to hear.

[Dottie]

Jim, I recently met a woman at the dog park I take my puppy to and we struck up a conversation. Turns out she is a rheumatologist. I asked her what my chances are of getting rheumatoid arthritis since my sister and my father have it. She said, yes, you have the genes but most often it needs a trigger. Stress of some sort is usually the trigger. I said "Great, another reason to be a little selfish and take care of my needs." I really love the phrase Holding a space for yourself. I will be passing this one on.

[mardie]

I had to laugh at the notion of anyone -other than my husband - asking me to do 20% less. This could not be more timely for me, Jim, and although I like to think I'm getting better at HOLDING a space for myself, I know that I'm still a ways off from finding a comfortable balance.

[Lori Jordan]

This is a pact I made with myself part way through this year, which has been especially challenging with a few very demanding parents. When I found myself checking school emails at 10:00 at night, then mentally fighting with people all night, I realized the only one who could put a stop to it was me. I quit checking my school email after I leave school, I started taking a walk during my planning period, and I started taking karate classes with my husband. I feel much more balanced now than I did in October.

[Lee Bromberger]

This is the "Burkian" theme I so love to read! I remember our Chicago seminar several summers ago, Jim, when you implored all attendees to find the time for themselves. I even recall the exercise we worked through your Daybook teacher calendar; we divided up the pie of all the demands placed upon us: professional, personal, social, etc.. I still have the work from that day, and today's writing brought fond recollections of your original thoughts on this topic! All the best to you and our readers as we close out the current school year in the next few weeks.